The onus (and truth) of ethics

Sitting in a classroom during an exam, one usually sees two things: the well-prepared who are hurriedly completing their exams, and those who, for unfortunate reasons, are unprepared and hurriedly peeking over shoulders in an attempt to salvage their pride. At my university, the student peeking and the student allowing the peeking are threatened with severe consequences. Ofcourse, the student allowing the peeking can always feign ignorance and escape; how, ever the student doing the peeking has no last resort if he/ she is caught. With this example in mind, and a thought-provoking conversation in fresh light, the student allowing the peeking should never be punished. Here is why: if the student is allowing the peeking, he/ she must be well prepared for the exam. For the sake of assumption, even if he/ she wasn't then it would not make any difference showing an empty answer paper to his/ her classmates. I do not deny the unethical behavior of both the students, yet the student doing the offering is not doing anything wrong in my opinion. He/ she is merely leaving his/ her answer sheet open for copying either via bad posture, or some other imaginable means.
I bring this up due to the recent controversies surrounding the production of the TATA Nano. Many arguments against thte production of the Nano have been put forth, not the least of which include congestion on the roads. Other reasons include increased consumption of oil and oil products, reduced impetus for alternative energy and so forth. For the uniniated, the Nano is a small car, at an affordable price of 100,000 INR (2000 USD). Obviously aimed at the common man, the Nano is intended to replace two wheelers, and possibly three wheelers. However, people who previously could not buy a car, or had to wait X number of years to save up will now gleefully welcome the Nano; the very same people who frown upon the production of this vehicle due to several reasons.
It is a situation, analagous to the classroom scenario presented in the aforementioned paragraph. Production of the Nano is again unethical and narrow in its range of interests. Someone is offering an unethical means of obtaining an end goal (buying a car), and the consumer is faced with the seemingly impossible choice of passing up on personal pleasure in favor of higher purposes. The person offering the service or product is merely making use of his assets (knowledge, money, machinery etc.). The onus of ethics should rest upon the person making the conscious decision to purchase the Nano, or the student making the conscious decision to cast his wandering eyes on another's solutions. What I am then interpreting from conversation and introspection is this: The person making the offering is not at fault, the person accepting the offering is the one at (greater) fault. The student glancing over shoulders, the consumer buying the Nano, the police officer accepting the bribe deserve a heavier for of punishment then the party on the other side.
However, as much as I would like to call this a universal truth, I am still struggling to cement it. As long as the person is not forced to purchase anything, or forced by another to cheat in an examination, it seems that the individual who accepts the offering should be punished more severely than the one making the offering... right?

The black gold delimna

As the price of oil plummets further to less than 40 USD a barrel (from the record high of 147 USD a barrel), retailers and governments face mounting pressure to reduce prices of fuel sold to the common man. There are many arguments for the reduction in oil prices; to name a few:
-Since we are in a recession, low prices are needed to spur spending.
-The low prices of fuel will help curb costs for business, which is essential at a time in the economy such as the on going one.
I am not an analyst in any oil company or retailer that I advocate high prices for fuel. However, I opine that oil prices remain artificially high at 70-80 USD a barrel or perhaps even 60-70 USD a barrel. The oil producing nations in the middle east cannot spiral into deficit and nations in africa and Russia need this price level so that the governments in this region can maintain somewhat of a respectable cash inflow; the governments may then use this to spur spending in their own countries. The high price of oil per barrel will also force governments to spend on green technology, something which will become increasingly important within the next 5-10 years. It is important to note that while I advocate a floor for the price of a barrel of oil, I also advocate a ceiling for the same- even if the market demands it, the price of oil should not be allowed to increase beyond 80 USD a barrel for now. The reasons for this is the same as the ones mentioned in the previous paragraph
Assuming this is not possible, the price of fuel to the common man must then artifically held high by the government. Price of petrol/ gasoline should not be cut simply to avoid abuse by the common man. I do foresee reduction in oil prices to the common man resulting in an abuse of private modes of transport leading to another round of increase in prices of oil. This will be followed by yet another increase in lending rates to curb inflation and the result of a possible recession, not unlike the current one we're experiencing. People need to think before using oil for frivilous trips. Governments must be forced to improve on existing infrastructure and means of transportation in the countries (such as hybrid buses) to avoid another peak in prices along the 150 a barrel range. The artificially high prices must force business to come up with innovative ways to cut down on usage, and consequently reduce pollution. Furthermore, the high fuel prices will help oil companies maintain their profit levels (or atleast break-even in countries with government controlled production); the last thing we need is oil companies laying off employees as well...
What the market (in countries such as USA) and the common man (in countries such as India) are now demanding is a short sighted solution to ease the burden of fuel prices. The populace must understand that reducing fuel prices will only induce a temporary boost to the economy at the cost of the environment. Keeping these prices high will force masses to judiciously use one of the most precious resources this earth has to offer, will induce 'green' spending and will offer a permanent boost to the economy in the form of infrastruture and alternative-energy investments, providing the much needed unemployment relief. The long term solution involves sacrificing these few months of pleasure in favor of a better next few years and this requires foresight and more importantly, proper planning.
A short sighted solution often provides for regrets later, perhaps just as analagous to living in the moment...?

A word of advice

People come and go; every individual passes through the phases of childhood and adulthood. Some are remembered, some are not. Yet I believe I have the magic formula to lead the happiest, most fulfilling life possible. I struggled to find words to frame this thought and during a conversation at Happy Hour, a friend of mine eloquently put it in one question: What would you like written in your obituary?

At this point an individual must look back at his/ her life and realize that he/ she must lead the life he/ she would like to be remembered for. That is what must read on the obituary and that is what will lead to the most fulfilling life ever. I do not wish to specify goals for individuals here- that is upto the whims and fancies of each. I do wish to emphasize that the goals set by an individual must reflect what he/ she wishes to be noted for.

At the risk of making this too specific, I shall pick and choose my own case. Anyone who has read my blogs will have, by now, understood that my friends mean the world to me. Yet this is not to say that I have not had bad experiences with finding the true gems of my life. True friends are hard to find and I have been judged and burned several tens of times before I have found someone worth investing the energy in. I do not ever regret anything negative that has happened in my life till date- I have looked back on every single incident and viewed it as an experience and something worth remembering for the lessons learned.

Therein lies to formula to successfully leading a happy life- never regretting anything that has happened and learning, from those experiences, something to grow stronger, to become more intelligent and to develop oneself professionally and personally. When I die, I would like to be remembered as someone who never regretted anything in his life and lived religiously by his principles. That is what constitutes a content life and everyone would like to lead one right?

Apparent contradictions

Previously, I had mentioned exploring life to understand and cement its fundamental truths. As I read through 'The Appeal', by John Grisham, I stumbled upon a phrase ' an apparent contradiction' and I wondered how many such contradictions do exist in this game we call life. Let me clarify exactly what I am referring to. Two statements which echo different sentiments and conclusions, but based on the same logical foundation can be construed as a contradiction.

For instance, if someone does not believe in abortion because they feel it is not their right to decide the fate of life, that person cannot, and must not, believe in capital punishment. If they cannot decide the fate of an unborn child, how can they decide the fate of a criminal? Someone's innocence does not guarantee them life, someone's sins do not guarantee them death. Along the same lines, a rationalist, or an atheist, cannot believe in fate and destiny. If an individual does not believe in a guiding force, which we refer to as God, then how can that same individual believe there is an end goal/ consequence decided by someone/ something else for us? Furthermore, along the same lines, if an individual does believe in fate, and does believe that there is an end goal/ consequence to each set of events, then that person must believe in horoscopes. The possibility of the end goal being orally communicated to an astrologer of sorts and the astrologer consequently writing it down is then well within the realms of reality. This is not to say the astrologer down the road from you is the messenger of God, but some astrologer somewhere can very well be the messenger of God.

I intend to explore many more of these contradictions of life and I will continue to update these... conflicts of interest... as I understand and explore more of life. I feel the urge to do so since I believe such contradictions are a direct violations of a person's beliefs. In my opinion, a person abiding by his/ her principles and faiths leads a much more fulfilling life... isn't that so?

Intelligence defined

Asked what type of potential mate someone would prefer, intelligence ranks somewhere on that list within the top 5 (I do not claim this to be a universal truth though). Yet people who have the highest levels of academic certification can act extremely foolishly, people who have neither a good formal education nor the certification from a prestigious academic institution produce gems of thoughts and provide glimpses of genius. How then, can intelligence be defined? Is there, if any, one specific definition of intelligence that we can all use to evaluate individuals that is independent of what degree an individual holds or what family he/ she is born into?
As usual, my desire to eliminate as much uncertainty from my life as possible holds root and, it is my belief, that I have stumbled upon, through conversation, literature and introspection, a universal definition of intelligence. There are 2 aspects to intelligence that have been listed here:
-An intelligent person learns from his/ her previous mistake, internalizes those mistakes, and successfully avoids repeating those mistakes. This is not to say that an intelligent person is perfect, but that he/ she strives consciously to avoid repeating erroneous actions made on previous occasions. To sum this up, I would say Intelligence (and potentially success) is not never failing, but never repeating the same mistake twice.
-An intelligent person, when thrown/ drawn into an argument without prior knowledge or context of the same, understands and carefully identifies the background and foundation of the argument, the underlying assumptions made by the debater and points out logical loopholes. In essence, an intelligent person is able to quickly carry on a sound and rational debate without prior information on a particular topic. This speaks volumes of an individual's character, the opinions, the tone and manner of speech, and finally the ability to critically analyze of an individual.

These two points constitute a fulfilling answer to the question 'how intelligent is X'. These points are independent of the preponderance of degrees held by an individual, the school attended by an individual and the family background of an individual. For how many times have we seen a wealthy individual rise to the top simply based on the assets owned by family rather than sheer cranial capacity?

Transcending the borders again!

A dear friend of mine once confided in me that her boyfriend would face significant opposition from her family because he was not a south indian. She would face opposition from his family because she is not of the same caste (brahmin, kshatriya, vaishya, shudra) as he is.
There have been times where people have opted not to date a potential guy/ girl in order to avoid the hassles of this opposition. I honestly feel that in today's day and age, such barriers are meaningless when the following assumptions hold true:
-You have never been raised a specific way from a particular old age
-The way you have been raised is exactly the way your potential guy/ girl has been raised (in a broad sense) and the details can be adjusted to or eliminated
-You HAVE been raised in a traditional, particular way of ye olde age and you have absolutely no intention of raising your kids that way.
In the good old days, caste restrictions existed for a very specific reason. They wanted to maintain their gene pool, their occupation, their customs and their lifestyle.
The occupational barriers, which existed in recent history, were primarily due to caste i.e. a brahmin had to be a priest and a kshatriya had to fight wars and expand his kingdom. In this modern era, occupations are not bound by caste, so what sense does it make to create a barrier based on this reason?
The second possible reason for these barriers include the lifestyle. But then, as per my blog written before titled 'So who is the right one for you', this reason should be looked for no matter what. Therefore, it does not make sense to restrict this to caste and region alone. It would behoove an individual to marry someone who shares the same lifestyle as him/ her than someone who has a drastically different one.
The third reason entails maintaining the same customs as the forefathers. This point becomes irrelevant when the parents themselves do not follow the customs or if the child does not intend to follow the same customs, there exists no logical reason to create this artificial barrier of caste.
Finally, to say gene pool is limited by caste is foolish since the lowest class in Indian culture has produced gems such as Dr. Ambedkar. This is not to say that any one caste is superior to another, but that limiting one's search for a potential due to caste or ethnicity (north indian/ south indian) might in itself be a limiting factor for finding the best compatible gene pool out there.

When thought about logically, it does not make sense for the elders to restrict their young 'uns when it comes to searching for a mate, nor does it make sense for them to restrict their own search in the market for an arranged marriage. Age old traditions are exactly that - age old! Why hold on to traditions that do not resonate with the inner conscience or make logical sense? For tradition for the sake of tradition is foolish...

My belief system in its entirety

My previous blog dealt with certain universal truths which I understand and strictly abide by, to the point of perfection. I am not a perfectionist in the true sense of the word, but I do try to lead life as devoid of hypocrisy as possible. Those aforementioned truths do not constitute my principles alone. To ensure that I internalize these principles, I must produce them on here and hold myself accountable officially:

-Everything happens for a reason and for the best
-Forgive whole heartedly, but never forget what was done; always remember the lesson(s) learned from incidents
-Have an open mind, but a tight character yourself. Do not judge others for what they have done; yet just because someone indulges in something considered 'morally wrong', it does not behoove you to blindly follow their steps.
-As a corollary to the above principle: individuals are good at heart unless proven otherwise and people should always be given a second chance
-My priority of values in order: Parents, Friends, God, Money, Myself, Sibling(s)

I strongly believe that writing these down and making them known to whomsoever chooses to read these makes me, as an individual, publicly accountable. This list, along with the list of truths, in their entirety, constitute my values, beliefs and principles. Once again, I beg the reader to remember my disclaimer and be civil in judging these beliefs. Yet, am I not a better person should I live religiously by my set of claimed values...?

An adherence to truth

Whether it is my desire to eliminate uncertainty and risk, or a desire to be more disciplined, I aim to explore many life in its fullest form to understand , what I refer to them as, universal truths - which hold in 99% of the circumstances, if not always. These... universal truths... as I call them have taken me a significant amount of time to realize, develop and cement and, as always, are subject to updates. They are not without their fair share of debate and controversy and I beg the reader to keep my disclaimer in mind when reading them. The following paragraphs on this list attempt to explore these fundamental truths:

-Life doesn’t wait for you, it goes on: No matter what life has thrown at a particular individual, it is important to understand this most fundamental truth. Does this mean the occurrence of anything bad is deemed non-existential, 'sucked in' and moved ahead on? No, quite the opposite in fact! Everything is internalized; lessons are learned from each incident and never forgotten. Life is resumed whilst attempting your best shot at every opportunity; the feelings of grief are masked from the outer world and felt only sparingly within. The motto - 'everything is chalked to experience and learned from'
-You will always have time, the question is, are you going to make time for it or not: Perhaps this truth is the hardest for people to accept because it shifts blame from existential circumstances to individuals themselves! Everyone has 24 hours in a day; yet some accomplish more than others; this simply means that those folks put tasks above personal relaxation time. Suppose an individual did not spend time relaxing and carrying out daily mundane chores, does he/ she still have the right to say "I do not have time"? No! Simply because it then implies those tasks for which the individual did not 'have time for' were simply low on the priority list.
-Your job is only try your best and have no regrets, don’t expect anything: At the risk of spreading religious propaganda, this statement, and consequently Hinduism, makes perfect sense logically. This is statement is obviously a corollary to the first truth. If one expects a particular result, then the disappointment can be harsh enough to negate future efforts. Case in point: how many times have you heard a couple breaking up and then afraid to plunge into the next relationship for fear of the past repeating itself? Numerous times ofcourse! To address the shameless religious plug asserted before, one of the tenets of Hinduism involves the right to action, but never its fruit. This holds true especially for good deeds. If a benevolent action is performed with the intention of 'karma' or a place in heaven, doesn't that make the deed selfish?!
-Nothing in this world is wrong unless it infringes on someone else's property, rights, freedoms, etc.: This principle is exactly what makes self defense righteous, but war wrong. It is exactly what makes imposers annoying and gives credibility to those who can subtly and logically influence others.
-Unless you can disprove something everytime, the possiblity of it existing/ happening cannot be ruled out: From a logical standpoint (i.e. discounting personal experience), this truth, in my opinion explains the populace's belief and the potential existence of ghosts, God, horoscopes, reincarnation, luck and so forth on an endless list. Unless a coincidental happening can actually be explained logically, you cannot rule out the concept of luck. Unless the numerous sightings of ghosts can be explained logically, why should they cease to exist just because they are supernatural? Unless the plethora of instances where horoscopes have predicted accurately the future of an individual, how can they be discounted?
-Whoever controls a relationship contributes the least to it: An individual very important to me once pointed this out and how true it is! An employee offers dedication, time, effortand loyalty where as an employer only offers a salary and professional development at most. This holds true for many other relationships on the personal front. The one in need is generally the one not in control and hence the more prolific contributor.

I have enlisted these as absolute truths and as always will be updated, debated, cemented and mulled around to further enhance the strength and validity of these statements. For it is my firm belief that understanding of these truths can lead to stress-free life, making life a lot less complicated and easier. Is that not the end goal for most people?

Revenge

Certain movies strike a cord within an individual; certain scenes resonate with the inner self more than others. Those who have lived in a country layered in bureaucracy and corruption empathize with the 'Boondock Saints', 'Sarkar', or even 'Shootout at Lokhandwala'. Operation BlueStar carried out in 1984 might have been unjustifiable on a humane basis, but can definitely be deemed necessary.
However, I am not here to justify or critique this particular operation. When money can buy a verdict in a courtroom, when logic can be twisted on paper to suit a particular verdict, does a concept of 'Godfather' become necessary? Criminals run amok on the streets because of many reasons - courts are backed up, cases are delayed by bureaucracy, juries are bought, the list can go on. Those who have watched the beginning scene of Sarkar cannot help but realize the reality of that situation. The possiblity of a rapist being acquitted simply because the individual's parents are well connected is well within the realms of reality. As someone who has witnessed a case where the girl declined to take any action agains the violator simply because of the bureaucracy and corruption within the judicial environment, it angers me even more to see such a system fail.
At this point, should not there be a 'special task force' to bring these people to justice whether the lawyers managed to convince the jury or not? Should the status and wealth of an individual elevate him/ her above the law? Ofcourse not, but truth of the matter is, it happens! And if it does, should it not be the responsibility of someone to bring these people to task? The idea of an alternative government above this red tape and corruption suddenly becomes very appealing.
However, as righteous as this concept is, I must offer the cons of this concept also: if such an alternative government was to exist, it is then subjective in nature for it is an individual who defines right and wrong - a slippery slope indeed for then the concept of 'bring someone to task' involves assault and possibly homicide! Furthermore, is it in our hands to dole out revenge? As a human being, who am I to decide the fate of an individual for the sins and crimes he/ she has committed?
Perhaps it is okay for me to feel vengeful, but is it okay for me to act on vengeance...?

The exciting chase

The 'process' of acquiring a significant other involves many stages, when viewed from a logical and calculative standpoint. One of the many stages entails wooing the girl and convincing her that guy is indeed the right one for her. This could happen via showering the girl with attention and/ or gifts as the girl contemplates, decides and maybe even tries to play hard to get.
I recently spoke to someone very close to me in regards to this and was surpirsed to learn that most guys enjoy the chase, the wooing part as much as the girl enjoys the attention showered on her. I am surprised, nay shocked, that guys would ever remotely enjoy this phase. As an addendum to a conversation, these people were further classified as type A personality types or the go-getters. These types of people, and these types alone, enjoy the chase, the challenge of convincing the girl to date them. WHat happens after the assent is an issue I do not wish to explore here. But as an individual who likes to eliminate uncertainty from life, I detest this aspect of the engagement process. This is the most uncertain phase of a relationship where the guy must play his cards right to win the girls heart. I do not enjoy the challenge of convincing my significant other that I am indeed right for her.
Does this mean that I am not an individual of type A strain? Does this mean I do not enjoy challenges in life? Does someone necessarily have to be adventurous and like challenges to be of the type A strain? Can I lead a peaceful, risk-averse life and yet be an ambitious go-getter or do I need to change my base personality to be of the said variety? A question worth debating over in my opinion...

Your vocation decided for you?

Personally speaking, I try and understand everybody, try to analyze everybody to understand their strengths and weaknesses. I try to understand, and consequently predict how someone would react to a particular situation. I try to analyze and predict how loyal of a friend someone can be, what the priorities of someone are and to what extent they are willing to act on their principles.

This is, in effect, what we call the personality of people. People are born with certain inherent traits, either via DNA or through a mechanism (religious or otherwise) which I do not claim to understand. What I do claim is that majority of an individual's personality is decided by his environment - an individual's family, home environment, experiences and friends to name a few. Intuitively, we also know that an individual's personality is most malleable at a young age and becomes more rigid and fixed as he/ she grows older. Therefore at the tender ages 12-18, an individual has been molded as per the 'culture' or the environment he/ she has been raised in.

There is something called the Myers-Briggs test which classifies a personality into a specific type consisting of 4 traits. For the sake of simplicity, I will not go into details of the test, but suffice to say these tests offer a specific personality ytpe/ or atmost two personality types for a particular individuals. The test also then doles out a list of ideal professions for an individual based on the classification of their personality type. Whether the list is accurate or not, what we can agree on is that there is an ideal set of pressions for a particular type of personality.

Now this means that an individual's vocation and consequently college degree is then decided at the ages of 12-18 not by that individual himself/ herself but by circumstances surrounding the individual. Therefore there is very little choice for the individual to decide the vocation since his/ her personality has been shaped for the majority by circumstances.

Obviously this person did not have much choice about what sort of family/ environment to be born into and therefore here comes the quintessential question: The choice of vocation, the college degree then no longer becomes a matter of free will... does it?

Transcending the borders

In trying to accomplish specific set of rules to ensure as much certainty as possible to life, I decided to explore one particular principle: X is either an acquaintence, or a friend; there is no intermediate setting on the spectrum of platnoic relationships. For those of you who frown on this rather distinct black and white categorization, such a categorization encompasses all blips on the scale - a friend, a good friend, a best friend, to me are all still friends deserve the same loyalty and help as the next 'friend'. Perhaps the priority in which they are helped differ, but they are all my friends nevertheless. Yet I am forced to ask how does someone blur the distinction between an acquaintence and a friend and become tightly knit in the latter? How do I know that this person has now transcended into a friend and someone I can trust my life with? To relate this to a common 'dilemna', how does one decide a friend is a good friend as opposed to just a friend or an acquaintence?
The reason I bring this up is this: The day started off in a tired fashion. I did not want to fulfil my obligations for the day, but the thought of meeting X made me sit up, smile and excited to be there. It suddenly hit me that this person was no longer just an acquaintence, but the go-to person for my difficulties on a social, professional and personal level. This transformation was so abrupt, that I need to make a checklist to verify how many other 'friends' or 'acquaintences' can be... upgraded... so to speak. As a caveat, some of these will be the same as the checklist to unravel cupid's mysteries.
-You dont mind spending time with that person even if it means sacrificing on your own personal time to meet a deadline; as a corollary, you would rather spend the extra hour talking to this individual than have your 'alone' time
-You gladly pick up the tab when he/ she is short on money, whether it is 5 dollars, or 50 dollars.
-You can talk to this individual about anything and everything ranging from politics to homosexuality
-This person is your go-to individual for anything you need advice on whether it be how to handle relationships or how to handle your obligations
-You have this person's personal contact information and blessings to actually reach out to him/ her on the same

As always, this list is not MECE, and will be updated as and when I realize and cement more truths about this topic. For life is also about finding those friends who are there are for you and willing to guide and support you, right?

-

Cupid Unveiled?

Given the events surrounding me and my friends these past few days, I must view them through an introspective lens. I have seen folks fall in love on as wide a range on the temporal spectrum as it gets. People fall in love at 'first sight', some others fall in love after months, or years, and there are many who do not fall in love ( or do not realize that they are in love) even after being with their significant other for years! Once again, as the desire to eliminate uncertainty from my life takes root, I ask my self how one knows they are in love. Is there a checklist that we can perhaps refer to?
In my opinion, or atleast from my current experience, I can develop a checklist that can provide some guidance to question, even clarify, if they are in love or not:
-You do not mind spending time with him/ her even if it means staying awake all night to finish up your own work
-You love waking up to his/ her voice and love waking him/ her up so that you are the first person he/ she hears in the morning
-You laugh at everything he/ she says, not because you must, but because you actually find it funny
-You love him/ her cuddling with you, you don't need it to go anywhere more... explicit... than that for it be fulfilling.
-Putting your hand around him/ her gives you a feeling of calm and peace, but his/ her arm linked in yours, his/ her fingers intertwined in yours, his/ her fingers running through your hair gives you eternal bliss.
-You cannot stop thinking about how beautiful he/ she is, and not only w.r.t. looks, but his/ her personality, his/ her laugh, and his/ her walk
-You would love to tell the world he/ she is not just your boyfriend/ girlfriend, but that he/ she is yours, period
-You spoke to him/ her an hour ago, and you still feel the urge to call him/ her up and talk
-You look down the road X years from now and see yourself waking up next to him/ her, kissing him/ her and snuggling up even more not wanting to leave his/ her side
-You gaze at him/ her and the very sight of him/ her smiling brings happiness to you

-You gladly pick up the tab when he/ she is short on money, whether it is 5 dollars, or 50 dollars

Ofcourse, many folks (including myself) can argue that many items on this... checklist... can be attributed to close friends as well. For example, I may hang up on one of my dear friends and feel the urge to call him/ her up again since I enjoy his/ her company. I don't mind picking up the tab for any of my friends. Yet, there are others on this list that apply only to someone you are well and truly in love with. This list, when taken in its entirety, I believe, constitutes a guideline in unravelling cupid's mysteries.
As I realize this some more, I shall continue to update this list, but to tie the aforementioned in to an earlier blog, I do not in any way say that the guy/ girl you love will be the one you end up marrying since situation of 'push versus shove' must be resolved. For life is often stranger than fiction... right?

Always doing something...?

This past week for me has been hectic, to say the least! I have been up nights and days for obligations unspecified. My schedule has been thus: 6 am to 8pm obligations downtown, 8pm to 4 am hanging out with someone every dear to me and finally 4am to 6am sleep. Some call this an aggressive schedule, some tsk at it, still others frown upon it. Me personally, I enjoyed every second of it!
I look back on this week and I have realized that this is my dream schedule! It was exhilirating knowing that I managed to fulfil all my obligations while enjoying myself. I am excited that i can survive a week thus far with minimal amounts of sleep! I believe that sleeping then becomes a waste of time if it can be spent doing something else, whether it be working to accomplish a goal, earning money, or spending that time with those you care about. Ofcourse, this also implies that I not only enjoyed spending time with those close to me, but also enjoyed the obligations I was 'forced' to spend on time on!
20 years down the line, I hope I am doing something 22-23 hours of the day, being with the people I love, exceling and fulfilling my obligations. I hope I work hard during the day, spend time with my wife and kid(s) in the evening, spend more time with my wife at night, work till the wee hours of the morning, sleep a little and let the cycle continue the following day. At the end of it all, I am doing work I love, making good money, and spending quality time with my most precious company.For isn't that one of the objectives of life? To maximize the time spent with your near and dear ones, and enjoy obligations in life without compromising on the life style?

A Universal Purpose

Over the last few days, someone very dear to me forced me to re-consider my priorities and justify the same to her. To give a little background, my friends mean the world to me; they deserve my utmost respect, loyalty, and help. Given a budget, I would much rather spend money on them first, and should the money run out, I would gladly forego my opportunity to spend. The same goes for work - I would much rather stay awake and help my friends out than sleep if I know they are going to be pulling an all nighter. In context, I was asked why I am the way I am in this regard. My usual response to this is always something along the lines of friends being there for me while family members quarrel and bicker, friends lending me my emotional aid whilst family turned a cold heart towards me. However, I realized this must be the case with plenty of people; yet not many people will be willing to engage in all that I have and intend to do. And I finally realized why I do do, whatever it is I do.
I believe that a person who enters this world should exit the world having made it better in some way. I sincerely believe this to the point where I would respect an athiest who engaged his life to community service in person or kind more than an individual who did nothing all his/ her life but sit and pray, given the extent to which I believe in and respect God. This is not to say praying and worshipping a diety is wrong, but it must be complemented with some sort of service to people/ society.
So, my base view is that I am worthless to the world when I am born and my cost to society is enormous. My goal then becomes to engage in activities that will provide society with a return on investment. As a realist, I understand that hoping to change the world in a sweeping fashion is beyond my means and scope. I therefore help my friends out and share my material and emotional facets with them in a means to make them happier and live as content a life as possible. If that means spending X hundered dollars on a gift for a close friend to cheer him/ her up, then so be it. If it means sacrificing your sleep so that your friend does well on his assignment, then as per this diktat, the goal is thus.
Anyone who reads this must assume I am crazy, possibly naive to place such high value on my relationships with my friends. But to me it is my way of showing my gratefulness to my friends, my way of giving to society, my way of making the world a better place little by little. After all one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind right?

So who is the right one for you...

They say falling in love produces a chemical reaction analogous to eating large amounts of dark chocolate. If that were true, then I guess I would be satiated everytime I felt the urge for female companionship...
However, this quest for companionship led me to question who really should be THE companion. Perhaps it is the person who you fall in love with. But does love really conquer all? I have honestly come to believe that when push comes to shove, love don't cut it. Sometimes if you must let go off a person because she would not have been happy in the circumstances the future would have held. The next question, therefore, becomes what qualities should reside in THE one. I believe it comes down to three things: Personality and the core values, Cultural fit, and the lifestyle of each other.
To elaborate on this ideology, let us consider the first attribute: Personality and core values. Obviously the significant other has to be nice, smart, and, some would even say, carry herself well. However, you must look beyond the superficial personality and delve deeper into what the core beliefs are. I am of the opinion that every person has a core set of beliefs that he or she has come to adopt such as belief in higher education, faith in god, religious views, and familial relationships. These core values must match, or else while there will not necessarily be conflict between the couple, there will be some valid questions regarding the upbringing of the child and a culture clash in general.
Which then leads to my second point. How well does your chosen one fit in with those in your family. If there is a significant enough dislike for the companion, then perhaps it is in the best interest to not be with each other. The final point regarding lifestyle is this: Most of the time a prince cannot live like a pauper and hence someone whose lifestyle closely matches that of yours should be picked.
Ofcourse it's great if you can find a significant other with all these qualities but here is the question I am then forced to ask. What if you never fall in love with this person? Where is the line drawn between following your heart and recongizing a push versus shove scenario mentioned above...? A question I struggle with everyday...